Saturday, August 2

Keeping the Faith

Its been a few days since I have posted anything and I wanted to check in and write about what has been going on with me. The last couple of weeks have been a bit of a rollar coaster ride as far as my health is concerned. My body has decided that it doesn't like the extremely small dose of the Beta Blocker I was on, and after I called my Cardiologist and told her what was happening to my body, I was told to cut the dose in half. My blood pressure has always been rather low- and once I really started getting sick my pressure got even worse. For those of you that know about Cardiomyopathy and heart conditions, the people that have these issues usually have high blood pressure, so when they go on the medications they get the added bonus of their pressure going down. With me it's just the opposite: before I started the drugs I was about 95/78, and a couple of days ago my pressure was 82/54. When I called my doctors the next day I was told that if my systolic (top number) got into the seventies I had to go to the emergency room.
Now, most people would be thrilled that they could cut down on a medication and hopefully get their blood pressure to stabilize. Unfortunately, that wasn't my reaction. I was afraid that by taking away the Coreg, I would no longer be able to exercise as much, and I would return to basically being a couch potato without any motivation. To be honest, that last couple of days have been hard emotionally- I tend to get very weepy at times and then I flip over into feeling irritated and rushed. I know intellectually that my body is trying to re balance itself, but while I am going through these big physical and emotional swings it feels like I am never going to get out of it. I can't tell you how much a person just wants to be well after dealing with three years of being ill. That's why I am writing this book about overcoming chronic illness; I want others who are feeling the way I have been feeling (and have felt) to have hope when they are in the middle of a flair up of their disease or condition.
Thankfully I have many tools at my disposal: great doctors, wonderful therapist, a loving family, supportive friends, inspiring authors, and most of all God. With prayer, and my continued efforts to have faith, I am getting through this one day at a time. I am also confident that the more I practice having faith in my Higher Power, the faster I will get well and stay that way. If I can pass anything on to those who are struggling with illness: there is always someone worse off than me; if I stay positive and in the faith then everything will work out for my highest good.