Sunday, October 26

Whew- That's Behind Me!

I am happy to report that I got through my Cardiac Catherization and the heart biopsy just fine. It funny, I kept telling myself that it would be a breeze- drop into the hospital and then leave in a few hours. It was far from that, to be honest. I have had other out patient procedures before (a few endoscopies) and I was in and out after some light sedatives and was able to rest for the remainder of the day and that was it. This was different for some reason, in fact it felt more like I was having surgery than just running some tests. I suppose the fact that they were rather invasive makes it feel that much different.
I had the typical IV put in my arm, and serveral drugs administered before, during, and after the procedure, but it was the actual tests themselves that were a bit hard for me. Well, to get more specific, I didn't like the heart biopsy. Before Friday came, I kept having visions of being able to feel the doctor taking pieces of my heart and it made me uncomfortable to even imagine it. When it actually came time to do the biopsy, it's not that I could feel them snipping away, but I could feel a lot of discomfort and my heart felt irritated every time they went in for another section. I was able to watch all of this on the monitors, and after a few minutes I decided to look away and give myself a break. Yuck!
It was also a bit uncomfortable to have them go into my arteries through my neck and my groin, and I have to say that these areas have caused me the most discomfort as they are going through the process of healing and repairing themselves.
I won't get into how sick I became on the way home from the hospital (I was really surprised by how violently my liver reacted to all of the meds), but let me just say that I unfortunately had to leave a few messes on the side of Sepulveda Blvd.
Now that I have spent the last few paragraphs on my "orderal" I am going to focus on the good that is coming out of this: first of all, it's behind me. Yea! Secondly, they found no blockages in my arteries, and there is no fluid surrounding my heart. This is great news to say the least. The biopsy results should come next week, and I am making the decision to be okay with whatever they may or may not find. I have spent months desparately wanting to know what has caused my cardiomyopathy, but I must get to the point where I am okay with not knowing. Who knows, maybe they will find something- stranger things have happened!
One final note: today is my birthday, and I am determined to enjoy it. I have been resting and taking care of myself, but I have also been looking forward to my annual birthday dinner with close friends and family. I believe that having this to be excited about has helped me to stay more positive, and to heal just a liitle bit faster. There really is something to be said for having things in life to look forward to- I think it makes all the difference in the world. Especially for people who are dealing with chronic illness.

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